Have You Heard?

With the end nigh, I find myself taking the long way home, unnecessarily driving or more accurately crawling up Chapel Drive. Soaking it up as it were. Enjoying the flood of years past washing to the front of my mind.

I’m not alone. Walking to blue zone yesterday, I ran into a block of my friends leaving just having paid tribute to Tailgate with key and can. They were strolling through the Indiana limestone arches visiting their favorite spots on campus. Their next stop: Bella Union, a place that makes living in Edens infinitely better (Few can keep Alpine).

For me, Bella is central to sophomore year. Early morning coffee, afternoon tea, late night espresso. It met all my stimulant-related needs. It was my go to for half-heartedly doing work. So naturally I spent most of my “study” time on that fourth floor of the tower. And by most I mean nearly all. I used the abundant life and foot traffic in Bella to procrastinate until closing. Midnight didn’t signify the start of an intense productivity, however. It meant the beginnings of virtual distraction and that my laptop stayed plugged in ‘til the wee hours of the morning.

Every time I went home during college my neighbor told me to find the balance. That is, find the healthy medium between being social and studious. Maybe I did or maybe I just tell myself that to not be upset that I stayed up until six in the morning more times than I care to remember. Even if I am lying to myself to live a synthetic happiness, my current reflection points to a concrete benefit from the “balance” I chose at Duke, which gives me solace.

While sitting in Bella at four in the morning, long after close, I couldn’t focus on my work. The mind wanders for want of diversion from exhaustion and misery. I questioned my choices that brought me exhaustion and blood shot eyes. Why hadn’t I done my work earlier? I usually realized or at least told myself it was because I was enjoying my life – talking to friends and trolling around. Of course I would then imagine the future years here and beyond. Going abroad, coming back, opening a bagel shop. The mind wanders without sleep. Though I often hated myself for being up so late, I found great happiness in my projected possibilities and reflections of the has-beens.

So I confess that my best thinking happened not in class or with my nose in the books but while procrastinating. Think about the conversations, the real talk, you’ve had with people long since the sun’s set. That’s where I learned the most in my time here. 4am in Bella – my greatest thinking happened while on the edge of dreaming.

Last week at WNS a fellow senior shared with me a confession of her own. She told her mother that she’s moving to Australia without any direction. But hey, minimum wage is $19/hr. She’ll be fine. Yet I could hear a level of guilt in her voice telling me that she thought her parents would be upset for “throwing away” her expensive schooling. She told them that she’s grateful for their sacrifice and that she will use this amazing education after she figures things out down under. If you ask me, she’s wrong. In uprooting, she is putting that education to use right now, more so than most of us. What is the point of pulling all-nighters writing papers if we can’t make that intellectual dexterity work for us?

My friend’s moving to have an extended 4am procrastination session of self-discovery. She is taking an extended ride up Chapel Drive. She is going to live on the edge of dreaming.

Please see the attached letter from the 2013-2014 Executive Board.

The Inter-­‐Greek Council (IGC) is proud to announce the official change of its council name and logo (coming soon) to that of the Multicultural Greek Council (MGC).  The decision was made by unanimous vote from the eight constituent members of the MGC to better reflect the diverse nature of our component chapters and to better align ourselves with peer institutions.  Universities with such a large and diverse Greek life as Duke’s, and the chapter members that we are fortunate to have, normally operate under the title of MGC.  The term IGC is reserved for the umbrella organization that facilitates cross-­‐council interactions.  Thus, the move was determined in part by the need to better represent  our function and relationship to other councils and the administration here on campus.
   
However, while the council caters to cultural interests, it is not culturally exclusive.  Our chapters attract  members from across the demographic spectrum, resulting in groups that may draw up to 50% of membership from outside the historical demographic of that fraternity or sorority.  Together, the eight chapters of MGC constitute around 12 percent of total Greek life on campus, and maintain a strong campus through the innovative and broad reaching programming of the following groups:
 
-­‐alpha Kappa Delta Phi Sorority, Inc.
-­‐Delta Sigma Iota Fraternity, Inc.
-­‐Kappa Phi Lambda Sorority, Inc.
-­‐Lambda Phi Epsilon Fraternity, Inc.
-­‐Lambda Upsilon Lambda Fraternity, Inc.
-­‐Omega Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.
-­‐Pi Alpha Phi Fraternity, Inc.
-­‐Theta Nu Xi Multicultural Sorority, Inc. 
 
In recent years the MGC has continued to expand upon its ideals, showcase the diversity of its members, and increase cross-­‐council connections though annual events like the Blaze the Stage Stroll Show—which brought over 30 chapters from across the four councils together in song and rhythm for a night of performance and celebration.  In addition the MGC/NPHC Carnival has become the most well  attended event at Duke’s First Big Weekend, reaching nearly 1,000 new students and upperclassmen as of Fall 2012. 
 
Internally, the MGC has begun council-­‐wide philanthropy endeavors in 2013 to better help our community and university, and we have just recently instituted mandatory PACT training for new members and exec boards in an effort to spearhead the cultural changes needed on campus for a more inclusive and safe student experience.
   
Under our new name and logo, the Multicultural Greek Council looks forward to continuing and expanding upon our relationships with the National Pan-­‐Hellenic Council, the Inter-­‐Fraternity Council, and the Panhellenic Association in the years to come.
 
Sincerely,
2013-­‐2014 MGC  Executive Board

Another year draws to a close on Duke’s campus. Campus life gets a little calmer as the students leave and we all begin our planning for next year. The parental role, however, never seems to be calm as the summer begins with the family. In many ways our role at the Wellness Center on campus is similar to being the parent away from home. We try to convey to students safe and healthy messages like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFAPWJeeOgs. We ask students to take care of themselves, get rest, eat nutritiously, don’t drink too much and be safe. The challenge we face during the summer months is to reach the students while they are potentially in different cities, on Duke Engage, in internships or at home. Students are adjusting and settling in to life off of campus and to the rules that may be different from the ones in the dorm. 

So as life on campus gets a little quieter and life at home potentially gets a little busier I want to give some tips to think about and/or discuss with your student over this summer regarding choices he/she has been faced with during the past year. Specifically I am thinking about choices around substance use, but this can apply to any difficult health topic.

Listen:
Students tend to be cautious speaking about alcohol and the drinking culture in which they may be involved. It must be difficult to hear the conflicting messages about how risky alcohol use is and to witness students having fun by drinking enough alcohol to get drunk. On the one hand the students are told about the risks of alcohol use by adults and on the other hand they watch their friends have fun while drinking. Students will defend the “fun” part of drinking, when an adult only focuses on the risks because they want us to see that this is not a right or wrong situation. This is complex. The only way that I will have an impact with students on a topic of alcohol use is to give them enough room to speak what they believe to be true. Students see what their friends are doing and they know what they like about drinking, but they will only admit the problem side of drinking if the adult admits that there is also a positive side. Students want to know that I see there are two sides to this issue.  This is complex for them and if I simplify it to being only a right or wrong issue then I will get tuned out.

Ask questions about what they have seen and how they have handled the situations they may have been faced with regarding alcohol. I can give you some questions in case you are fresh out of ideas: Do they drink? How do they figure out how much to drink? What role does alcohol play in college life? What do they like about drinking? Have they been in situations that they were not OK about? Do they think there are potential risks (what are they)?

I have found that the actual drinking is not the main point to be addressed. The more concerning feature is what is driving the drinking, why is it being done? What does the student hope to gain from drinking? Social connection is usually number one. Are they connecting to others when drinking? Students experience being drunk as fun (this is usually in the beginning part of the drunken state). When drunk; students often are laughing more, less self-conscious and dancing and they think they have built memories with friends during these times. The problem is that if they are drinking to intoxication then they are building a relationship with the alcohol not the friends they are with. How will their drinking help them to achieve their goals? Some students are adamant that the drinking is helping them to have a large amount of friends. With students who feel this way I talk about how they define friendship. What are the necessary elements and how do they know that they are close to a person? These are the best conversations and really help students connect and begin to pay attention. The beauty of this approach I have found is that these are the core issues the students wrestle with in their social lives. When students verbalize their thoughts it forces them to think deeper about their choices and how they are moving toward or away from their goals. Sometimes during this conversation students will start to see that they define friendship one way and experience people through drinking in a different way. The drinking experience with friends is not always a positive experience, but they only recognize this when they take a moment to reflect on all aspects of the drinking event. Once you have opened their eyes through the conversation, even if they choose to drink again, it will take some of the allure and mystic of drinking away.

Give feedback not advice. I have found that students will respond with an eye roll and glazed look if I am giving advice. A student talking about drinking will reference their feelings when talking about their story. If I can identify a feeling associated with what the student is talking about then I can reflect on my own experiences when I may have dealt with that feeling or addressed it in the past. In this manner I can give the student an idea of how to deal with a situation without telling them what to do. The difference between feedback vs advice is subtle, but powerful.

Although this article has been about listening and reflecting on your students experiences, don’t forget to acknowledge and enjoy the fact your child completed a year at Duke. Congratulations! Enjoy the summer.

As I enter my last week of classes, I can’t help but to think back freshman convocation in the Chapel. Sitting in those brown wooden pews I listened to President Broadhead tell me and my peers about how amazing our classmates are and questioned why the heck we were sitting among them. I still thank clerical error in the Admissions Office. Anyway, many of us had incredible stories and accomplishments that seemed to define us. Olympians, authors, successful entrepreneurs. I shrank into my seat trying to figure out what I could say about me. I could only muster seemingly trivial experiences from high school.

In early March of this year, however, I found my answer. Permit me a short anecdote. I was on a job interview when the recruiter asked me one final question to be answered in Spanish. “Why did I choose to go to Duke?” I froze. Not because I couldn’t articulate myself in Spanish but because my mind flooded with thoughts on everything that I’ve experienced since coming to college – living in Belfast working on a Duke Engage Project, watching us win a national basketball championship in Cameron Indoor, rushing the football field after we beat Carolina, all nighters in Perkins, late night Cook Out runs, dancing salsa at Cuban Revolution on Thursdays, hearing John Legend belt it out in Page, studying in Madrid and traveling around Europe, Cruising with 200 members of the senior class on spring break, ditching class to go to the gardens when it was 80 degrees in February, section parties, Tailgate with a capital T.

So much has happened since stepping foot onto East, I couldn’t think of an honest answer. After I left, I realized I could have just told him I picked Duke for basketball and the weather. Oh well. Next time I’ll remember to lie.

The inundation of memories reminded me of sitting in that pew as freshman thinking on experiences that were momentous for me. Though I may not have climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, I had a collection of small instances that impacted my life, which isn’t something I was conscious of at the time.

In the 18 years leading up to college, it is made to seem like the pinnacle of our education. It will be that final step that instills in us the skills necessary to succeed in life. The four years at Duke has taught me that a lot of that is crap. We stress about finals or papers, making them out to be a life or death situation. If your thesis doesn’t receive distinction, you’ll survive and graduate.

The hyper academic focus the administration is trying to adopt for the students does us a disservice. Had I wanted a school that forces you into the books day and night, I would have chosen the Ivy League. But guess what. Duke is not an Ivy League. College isn’t about putting my nose to the grind. It is about experiences, which is something Duke used to be cognizant of and is now losing. Everything I just mentioned are memories that I carry with me and collectively define my character. Notice how few are actually academic.

The past four years have changed our lives because of the things we’ve lived. College gave us experiences that supposedly help determine our spirit. We are not static now, however. The next four years and the four after that will also transform us. Academics have and may play a part in that, but it is important to see and do more. The parties in blue zone, late night chats with your friend, and finding culinary gems are likely to be more impactful.

So live every day like it’s college, experience, and change.

Friday | 04.26.13 | 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM

Omelette you know about our great end of the semester event! We bacon you to come and join us for an eggcellent brunch. Doughnut miss this opportunity to come to the Center for LGBT Life one last time. Orange you excited to join us? You butter be!

Life with a college student in the family is full of change, but folding your child back into the family for the long summer break can be a surprisingly challenging transition. Whether they come home for the entire summer, or for a few weeks before an internship or travel abroad experience, or whether the family and student vacation together, things likely will not be as they were.  As a college counseling center psychiatrist I’ve talked with many parents of students who encountered difficulties about the best ways to support their child when he or she came home, but as the mother now of a college-aged child myself, I see first-hand that all students and families must navigate new roles and patterns of communication if we’re to make the most of the times we get to spend together.

Most of us parents have stayed in place this past year while our son or daughter has been in college—whether for their first year, or for their last. For most of us, life has been relatively unchanged: same house, job, family configuration. But our child has experienced massive change and growth. Psychologist Jeffrey Arnett describes the time between ages 18 and 25 as “emerging adulthood,” a developmental stage which differs from both adolescence and adulthood. It exists mainly in industrialized nations where people delay employment and child-bearing,  and is characterized by unprecedented change and role exploration. Your son or daughter has experienced significant residential changes, variability in friendships, romances, and other relationships, and new expectations regarding self-sufficiency. They’ve encountered worldviews that may drastically differ from the ones with which they were raised. They’ve made choices regarding how they structure their time, whether—and how—they are sexually active, whether and how much they use alcohol and other drugs, who their closest friends and most admired role models are, and what academic fields most interest them.  Whether they’ve had to use counseling services or not, every one of them has experienced difficult or even overwhelming times this past year, as well as moments of great joy and triumph.

So how do we re-engage with our emerging adult across this difference of experience?

It’s helpful to remember that in surveys asking whether they feel “adult,” most college students answer “in some ways yes, in some ways no.” This “in-between-ness” characterizes the behaviors we see in our child when they return. But if we, as parents, treat them as we did when they were in high school, we’ll encounter major conflicts. One study of parenting styles and outcomes in emerging adults found that for both mothers and fathers, authoritative parenting—a combination of warmth/responsiveness, valuing autonomy, and clearly stated expectations—led to the best outcome: a healthy sense of self-worth in the child and a strong, positive parent-child relationship. Parenting that used punishment, verbal hostility, high control, or, conversely, extreme indulgence, led to depression and anxiety in the offspring and a poor parent-child relationship. (Nelson et. al., 2011).

Stay open and curious. Talk and listen! Your child has likely learned some amazing things and met fascinating people. Don’t just ask about their grades, but be interested in how classes went. Ask about what they learned, what they enjoyed, where they struggled. Students at Duke and other highly selective colleges fear seeming less than perfect; show interest in their wellbeing and their challenges as well as their successes. Remember that now is the time to collaborate rather than dictate; focus on maintaining your relationship, gradually reduce the amount of control you exert, and draw up new boundaries which acknowledge their increasing autonomy.

Emerging adults are trying on new roles regarding work, love, and worldview both as preparation for their consolidated adult identity, but also sometimes just for experimentation’s sake. For example, in the romantic realm, they may be both starting to think about life partners, and also experimenting with romance and sex via “hook-ups.” Similarly, not all summer experiences lead to an ultimate career path. It’s best to not overreact to any particular new path a student is taking, because likely it will change again soon. That doesn’t mean we can’t voice our concerns as parents when these arise—but to be heard, we must do this in dialogue, not in edicts.  Edicts backfire, either in the moment with you, or later, when the student is again on his own.

Let them sleep, especially when they first get home, but then feel free to talk about their goals beyond just sleep for their time off. Plan with them, not for them. Focus on the present moment, and enjoy your time together. And if you do see signs of more significant problems: persistent low mood or continued oversleeping, significant weight loss, problematic substance use, or big changes in personality—please encourage them to get help. Feel free to consult with us at CAPS should you be unsure how to best do that.

--Doris Iarovici, MD
Psychiatrist, Counseling and Psychological Services

Dear faculty and friends,

Somehow we've arrived at the last issue of our newsletter to you for this year. I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around 'last' while simultaneously focusing on the abundant work ahead (as, undoubtedly, are you). Between now and next fall when we issue our first newsletter of the next academic year, much will transpire. In our world, the Events Pavilion and Bryan Center renovations will be complete (check out: pavilioncam.studentaffairs.duke.edu), West Union will be closed and shrouded in fencing, many departments and offices will have relocated (sites.duke.edu/westunion), considerable renovations work will have been completed in our Central Campus apartments and on East Campus and much more.

As I write this, I'm reflecting on the academic year nearly past and feel so grateful to have worked with so many of you...especially our faculty. We have a fascinating project in development with several faculty from Psychology and Neuroscience regarding student resiliency, are partnering with Fuqua faculty on leadership development, and working with numerous faculty in the areas of entrepreneurship, sustainability, civic engagement and much more. Many of our staff serve as adjunct faculty and I'm so pleased that we support Duke's teaching (and research) mission in the classroom in addition to the experiential opportunities we provide. As I say with every issue of our newsletter, we welcome any opportunity to partner with faculty and look forward to hearing from and supporting you.

But, the year is not over and we have critical opportunities and occasions ahead. It seems that every student performing arts group is planning its final shows in the next few weeks. On April 17, we celebrated student leadership and service achievements at our awards ceremony (http://studentaffairs.duke.edu/ucae/leadership/leadership-service-awards). Please join us in congratulating the winners for their great work!

And, then there's LDOC (Last day of Classes)....we welcome any faculty presence there and you can even earn a jacket and hat by joining our A-Team, our events 'support team'. Just email me if you're interested at lmoneta@duke.edu.

This has been a great year so far and I expect a furious but fantastic rush to the finish line. We're grateful for your support and look forward to sharing and connecting more with you in the years ahead.

Have a great Spring,

Larry

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"Office Hours" with Bill Wright-Swadel
Graduating students will soon take their first steps down career paths that may take unforeseen directions. In his 30 years as a college career counselor, William Wright-Swadel has picked up some wisdom about the road ahead for soon-to-be graduates, which he shared in a live "Office Hours" webcast interview on Friday, April 5.

View the video.

Arts & Activism

I know that this paragraph will not do justice to my experience during ASB: Arts & Activism. Throughout the week I built a relationship with the students and they defied my expectations. They were very smart, quick, and passionate. Each high school student had a story to tell and was invested in a social issue. These students have the power to change the world, and I hope they do!

Read more.

The Arts Annex Mural Project

The new mural completely transforms the front of the the Arts Annex into a new, inviting and exciting front for this creative space.

Read more.

"Let the Great World Spin"

Shortly after the World Trade Center complex was completed, acrobat Philippe Petit tight-roped across the gap between the two buildings, a quarter mile above the New York City streets.

In the novel “Let the Great World Spin,” this year’s summer reading selection for Duke University’s Class of 2017, author Colum McCann imagines how this single, daring event turned from ordinary to extraordinary the lives of many people watching on the street below.

Read more.

Lavender Graduation

Lavender Graduations recognizes and celebrates all LGBTQ and allied undergraduate and graduate students completing degrees. The event will be held April 19.

Read more.

Student Leadership and Service Award Winners
Each spring, the Vice President for Student Affairs invites members of the Duke community to nominate deserving undergraduate and graduate students, recognized student organizations, faculty, staff, and alumni for the University’s most prestigious awards for leadership and engagement.

 This year's winners are...

Read more.

Residence Hall Closing Information
All residence halls and apartments close for summer break at noon on Monday, May 6, 2013.  Students must be completely moved out and have returned their keys by this time.  

Graduating seniors and other students approved for housing extensions due to participation in commencement, athletic teams, or other university approved events will be able to occupy their spring housing assignment until noon on Monday, May 13 at the latest.

Students participating in Summer Session 1 are only eligible for housing extensions upon completion and approval of their summer housing application. Parents and students are reminded that move-in for upperclass students for the fall semester is Friday, August 23, 2013.

Read more.

Summer Housing Information
Summer housing is available for students enrolled in classes or working for the University.

Read more.

Congratulations to the following students, student organizations, faculty, and administrators who have been awarded Duke University’s most prestigious campus-wide honors for leadership and service. Recipients accepted these honors at the Duke University Student Leadership and Service Awards program on April 17, 2013.

Betsy Alden Outstanding Service-Learning Awards
Haley Barrier

Baldwin Scholars Unsung Heroine Award
Nelly-Ange Kontchou

Class of 2016 Leadership Award
Jesse Hu
Luke Maier
Gayle Powell
Carolyn Rath
Zalika Sankara

Julie Anne Levey Memorial Leadership Award
Jay Sullivan

Student Affairs Distinguished Leadership and Service Award
Samantha Lachman
Kristen Lee
Wilma Metcalf
Julie Rivo
Ashley Tsai

William J. Griffith University Service Award
Sujatha Jagannathan
John McGinty
Kathleen Perry
Jocelyn Streid
Ashley Tsai
Ting-Ting Zhou

Lars Lyon Volunteer Service Award
James Flynn

Algernon Sydney Sullivan Award 
Kathleen Perry

Leading at Duke Leadership and Service Awards
Andrew Hanna
Kenai McFadden
Abhi Shah
Sophomore Class Council

Faculty and Staff Student Interaction Award
Christian Ferney

Duke University Union Service Awards
Committee of the Year: Duke Student Broadcasting
Most Improved Committee:  Jazz@
Most Valuable Players: Angie Yu and Danny Nolan

Duke Student Government Awards
Todd Adams
Joe Gonzalez

Faculty Staff Student Interaction Award
Christian Ferney

The week before last, award-winning Chinese writer Yan Lianke paid a visit to Duke and UNC Chapel Hill, delivering a talk titled “My Literary Self-criticism”. I never read his novels but his controversial works have been under heated discussion in China for some time. I was curious about the talk, especially the title, so I went to attend it at UNC Chapel Hill.

Over the 50-min talk, Yan touched on several main topics – ranging from social responsibilities of contemporary writers in modern China era to his fear of detachment (of him and his works) to the masses, among others. All of them are thought-provoking to me, and I will select two to talk about here.

The first is about the detachment to the masses. Like many successful persons in his generation, Yan was born in some poor rural town far away from the cities. His success in career brought him respect and reverence from people in his hometown, but at the same time, their hope of being helped by him, both financially and politically. Yan doesn’t blame these people, and I agree with his rationale. Most of time, it’s not these people are greedy or lazy, it’s the political system that only allows certain percentage of people to enjoy the prosperity that China’s fast development has brought to, while most of the population (the massive group without proper education, without money, without political power) still lives in a quite bad condition. Moreover, in Chinese traditions, especially in the rural areas, people who became successful in the cities are sort of responsible to help the poor. Sometimes it’s in the form of donating money for road construction; sometimes it’s in the form of recommending jobs for them in the cities, among others. Therefore, once they found out that someone among them got famous and/or became rich, they believed they will be helped. Yan feels really bad that every time he visits his hometown, villagers constantly visit his home only for asking help. Between them there seems to be nothing else worthy being talked of. (My father was born in rural area too, and though he’s not famous or rich, but every time we went back to visit his family in the village, all I could see was the begging – no emotion involved, no interests in how my father’s life etc. ) Yan, being a writer, is pretty concerned about this detachment as he’s afraid that his works cannot reflect what the masses are thinking and perceiving.

The other is about his controversy in China. One of his recent novels had been criticized to be expressing his hidden sentiments and feelings to one scholar by means of gentle allusions and ambiguous phrases. Other than this, his invited comments on the disputed island between China and Japan appeared on New York Times and another Japanese newspaper in 2012 and were under heated debate among Chinese people. Some blamed him to be a traitor. My concerns are more on an individual Chinese level, especially the bad feelings of criticizing my own country and countrymen in front of foreigners, therefore I asked him a question during the Q&A session after the talk: as a Chinese student studies abroad, how should I respond to foreigners' criticism of China and how should I talk about China's problems in front of an international audience; I felt bad about saying anything bad but true. His answer: remain truthful and the world would respect you. Not sure why but I was almost bursting to tears upon hearing these.

I am very glad that I took the time to attend his talk. It’s always interesting to meet different Chinese scholars, businessmen, politicians and others, to listen to their opinions and they usually help me shape my thoughts about my motherland in a more clear, systematic and firmer way.